Here it is the last day of May and no car show to go to. Sleeping in has its advantages, as do enjoying a cup of coffee at a leisurely pace. Reading the Sunday Paper and realizing its the same paper they print everyday, only with color comics instead of b&w.
Car Shows seem to be the life's blood that drives most of the hobbyists that we know. There are some that just live to get that $15.00 Cheap Ass Trophy, others could give a shit whether they get a trophy or an award. I'm one of the latter who could care less about the trophy. I like the camaraderie and feeling of friendship I get when I "make the rounds".
But there are some among us that absolutely abhor Car Shows. They basically would rather have a kick in the balls or visit the dentist. I know one such person who owns some of the finest examples of Street Rods in the area and refuses to go to a car show.
After reading Exhaust Fumes and HotKarz's posting on the Best of the Best and Car Buff of the Year, He E-mailed me this...
Read your latest contribution, good one... I do think Mr. ptwoody has spent way too much time waxing his woody. Really this car show thing is the biggest batch of bullshit I have ever seen. Having the show is not really the problem (well it really is, shows are really just a my dick is bigger than your dick pissing contest) the award part is the biggest farce. Do they have a best engineered award, no. Do they have an attention to detail award, no. Do they have a best innovation award, no. Do they recognize the hands that created the car, no. Do they even have a clever little doodad award, no. What they should have, in most cases, is an I wax someone elses craftsmanship trophy and the grand winner should receive a sorry about your penis award. As you may be have gathered from my rantings I firmly believe as long as there are car shows, gravity will remain an unnecessary commodity.
Later,
D
...and I agree with most of what he says. Luckily for you I'm somewhere between the Trophy Hunter and D, I'd rather not take the the kick in the balls but at times a dental appointment doesn't look that bad.
I take nothing away from anybody who gets an award or a trophy for a sweet looking vehicle and works to keep it that way. I do however frown upon the ass kissers who get a trophy every week due to the flavor of the lip balm they use. In my eyes there is a definte correlation between the size of the penis and the amount of ass kissing. Just watch at the next Show. Very few chapped lips get trophys.
As I post this I realize that HotKarz is making "His" choice for the Car Buff of the year, sometime in the near future. Hehehe!
Like I even made the short list.
5/31/09
5/29/09
Cruise Nights and What's On The Menu
We get out of work on any given day and get home, clean up, fire up the Hot Rod and off we go to the nearest Cruise Night. If the wife is working I go alone and wait to get home before I eat, if she's with me we eat at the Cruise Night.
So why is it we never rate a Cruise Night by its Food. Being a good eater, but not a Food Critic, I want to start a Rate the Menu at the Cruise Night, with input from myself and any volunteers who wish to participate. No awards at the end of the season, but a list of Cruise Nights that have decent food and list them in such a way the best would be at the top or make it so they are listed in alphabetical order. Use a 5 Star scale or maybe a 1-10 scale? Would it make a difference as to what Cruise Night we go to, possibly.
I can start it out with the Uptown Cruizahs Cruise Night at Advance Auto Parts in South Paris. They have a laid out menu which is cheap money for what you get and the system they use is on par with your classiest greasy spoon or truck stop. The prices are from $2 to $3.50, if I remember correctly. They serve up the usual fair of Burgers and Red Dogs but add to this some homemade American Chop Suey. The real innovation, they also usually have a desert thats home made. The night we were there it was Apple Crisp. They even do a Pie auction.
On a scale of 1-10 an 8 with kudos for innovation.
Someone else can step up and review the same or a different Cruise Night and e-mail me at exhaustfumes@live.com so we can post it here for now, later we can find a web sight that will probably post them so all those non-readers can also enjoy it just like us. Put MENU in the subject line.
So why is it we never rate a Cruise Night by its Food. Being a good eater, but not a Food Critic, I want to start a Rate the Menu at the Cruise Night, with input from myself and any volunteers who wish to participate. No awards at the end of the season, but a list of Cruise Nights that have decent food and list them in such a way the best would be at the top or make it so they are listed in alphabetical order. Use a 5 Star scale or maybe a 1-10 scale? Would it make a difference as to what Cruise Night we go to, possibly.
I can start it out with the Uptown Cruizahs Cruise Night at Advance Auto Parts in South Paris. They have a laid out menu which is cheap money for what you get and the system they use is on par with your classiest greasy spoon or truck stop. The prices are from $2 to $3.50, if I remember correctly. They serve up the usual fair of Burgers and Red Dogs but add to this some homemade American Chop Suey. The real innovation, they also usually have a desert thats home made. The night we were there it was Apple Crisp. They even do a Pie auction.
On a scale of 1-10 an 8 with kudos for innovation.
Someone else can step up and review the same or a different Cruise Night and e-mail me at exhaustfumes@live.com so we can post it here for now, later we can find a web sight that will probably post them so all those non-readers can also enjoy it just like us. Put MENU in the subject line.
5/28/09
Recognition Part Duh?
According to the Sponsor of an awards program, coming to a car show near you, the author of the E-Mail that quite a few of us have received begging for our votes so he may receive his shot at glory and a $15.00 Cheap Ass Trophy, has been spoken too and due to the fact that he was a "friend" and this was "an attempt at light-hearted humor ", he will be forgiven.
Do you get the same taste in your mouth that I do. Do you feel that some type of penalty should be given. Do you feel like someone is yanking your chain on this.
My feeling is, that had this not been a friend, somehow the end result would have been different.
So let us look at it from the NASCAR point of view. Now I know this Organization has nothing to do with the situation or the Car Show scene in the State of Maine or anywhere else. I also know that in all likely hood this is going to get thrown in my face and probobly start a war in some Third World Country half way around the world.
So NASCAR has a rule book that takes about 15 years to understand but constantly changes so you never get to understand the rules thus the need of a rule book.
Huh?
They use a system that is weird to say the least. Say a team uses a part that the rule says you can't use, they get penalized. Say a team uses a part that the rule book says nothing about, they get penalized, because the rule book didn't say they could.
So as it applies to this scenario just because the rules didn't say he couldn't beg for votes it also doesn't say he could. So if Bill France were still alive and running this thing it would probably end like this.
Loss of 20 drivers points and mandatory random drug testing. Loss of 20 Owner points . Driver suspended from the next 4 car shows. Crew chief fined $250,000 and suspended 12 car shows and probation for the rest of the season. At which point half his sponsors would would hold back their checks and he would file for bankruptcy.
So maybe the rules ought to be just a little more specific.
I wonder how the NCAA would have handled it...
Do you get the same taste in your mouth that I do. Do you feel that some type of penalty should be given. Do you feel like someone is yanking your chain on this.
My feeling is, that had this not been a friend, somehow the end result would have been different.
So let us look at it from the NASCAR point of view. Now I know this Organization has nothing to do with the situation or the Car Show scene in the State of Maine or anywhere else. I also know that in all likely hood this is going to get thrown in my face and probobly start a war in some Third World Country half way around the world.
So NASCAR has a rule book that takes about 15 years to understand but constantly changes so you never get to understand the rules thus the need of a rule book.
Huh?
They use a system that is weird to say the least. Say a team uses a part that the rule says you can't use, they get penalized. Say a team uses a part that the rule book says nothing about, they get penalized, because the rule book didn't say they could.
So as it applies to this scenario just because the rules didn't say he couldn't beg for votes it also doesn't say he could. So if Bill France were still alive and running this thing it would probably end like this.
Loss of 20 drivers points and mandatory random drug testing. Loss of 20 Owner points . Driver suspended from the next 4 car shows. Crew chief fined $250,000 and suspended 12 car shows and probation for the rest of the season. At which point half his sponsors would would hold back their checks and he would file for bankruptcy.
So maybe the rules ought to be just a little more specific.
I wonder how the NCAA would have handled it...
5/26/09
Comments
Ok, I guess I need to say thank you on the comments left lately. So Thank You. I'm glad to see somebody reads this stuff and enjoys my opinions.
But know this, the only postings on shows I will do are ones that I attend.
No he said she said bullshit.
But lets take it easy and play nice and keep the comments clean, don't name names and lets not point to many weapons at each other or do the sticks and stones shit we did as kids, I will try and get your comment on ASAP, but sometimes I'm a little slow. Don't get pissy about it.
The blog is limited to 5 comments per posting so have your arguments elsewhere if its full or if its a good post and the comments raise a good point I'll come up with something so we may continue. You can also use the E-mail Address posted on the side of the blog page. E-mails may get posted unless you tell me not to.
If your comment is a profanity laced diatribe against any and all comers I'll have to throw it away and can suggest you start your own damn Blog.
If your opinion is opposite of what mine is, as long as it is presented in a clear and concise manner and not screaming at me or calling me names I'll post it.
Basically, My Blog, My Rules, Simple
Of course this could change, for no reason, at any time, without notice. So There
But know this, the only postings on shows I will do are ones that I attend.
No he said she said bullshit.
But lets take it easy and play nice and keep the comments clean, don't name names and lets not point to many weapons at each other or do the sticks and stones shit we did as kids, I will try and get your comment on ASAP, but sometimes I'm a little slow. Don't get pissy about it.
The blog is limited to 5 comments per posting so have your arguments elsewhere if its full or if its a good post and the comments raise a good point I'll come up with something so we may continue. You can also use the E-mail Address posted on the side of the blog page. E-mails may get posted unless you tell me not to.
If your comment is a profanity laced diatribe against any and all comers I'll have to throw it away and can suggest you start your own damn Blog.
If your opinion is opposite of what mine is, as long as it is presented in a clear and concise manner and not screaming at me or calling me names I'll post it.
Basically, My Blog, My Rules, Simple
Of course this could change, for no reason, at any time, without notice. So There
Blatant Promotion of an Event
Yep, that Tuesday night Cruise In called about 5:30 today and off like a new brides panties we went. Damn near froze our proverbial asses off, but we did see and talk to several people before we left for warmer accommodations.
The one couple we always enjoy talking to are Stan & Cheryl Page. They were up here in our end of the world handing out some stuff on the TOY RUN scheduled later in the year. So mainly because Cheryl reads this as much as that other blog, I decided to promote the TOY RUN.
So pay attention for a minute and grab your pencil and paper and write this shit down.
Monday September 7, 2009 10:00 AM - 2:00 PM
Toys for Tots/ Toy Run at Portland Motor Club, 275 Presumpscot St. Portland ME
10:00AM to 2:00PM, Mystery Cruise leaves around 2:00PM
Bring an Unwrapped Toy for Toys for Tots, Food, DJ
Call Stan & Cheryl Page @ (207)892-7389 or (207)615-8365
E-Mail at pagecheryl@rocketmail.com
Now for some history, the Toy Run was started years ago by bikers, you know big, hairy, leather wearing, mean looking, types that ride really loud, oil leaking, Harley Davidson or some other type of 2 wheel conveyance that scared the crap out way to many future Mother-in-Laws. Over the years this has become a major source of toys for the USMC's Toys for Tots and the yearly roar of its engines in Bugusta is now legendary.
Enter Big Mike and a few friends who came up with an idea for doing the same thing with cars and trucks. They put this together and got about every club in the state involved and in the first year pulled in 149 vehicles and enough toys to fill 2 vans and then some. At this first Toy Run, also held in Bugusta, Cheryl Page showed up with a Pick-up Truck filled with toys. I think that means she liked the idea.
Well to shorten this up, the TOY RUN is now in the more than capable hands of the Pages and is not being held in Bugusta as the details above show. the location in Porkland is a great place because I have been to the Portland Motor Club to see if it is good enough and believe me it is. In the true all Clubs Format the Pages have enlisted Down East Street Rods to do the cooking so they too, can benefit by making money for there charity. Some of the other details are still being worked on, but have no fear the Pages get stuff done.
So on September 7th, where are you going to hang out? Home, or with us at the Portland Motor Club
The one couple we always enjoy talking to are Stan & Cheryl Page. They were up here in our end of the world handing out some stuff on the TOY RUN scheduled later in the year. So mainly because Cheryl reads this as much as that other blog, I decided to promote the TOY RUN.
So pay attention for a minute and grab your pencil and paper and write this shit down.
Monday September 7, 2009 10:00 AM - 2:00 PM
Toys for Tots/ Toy Run at Portland Motor Club, 275 Presumpscot St. Portland ME
10:00AM to 2:00PM, Mystery Cruise leaves around 2:00PM
Bring an Unwrapped Toy for Toys for Tots, Food, DJ
Call Stan & Cheryl Page @ (207)892-7389 or (207)615-8365
E-Mail at pagecheryl@rocketmail.com
Now for some history, the Toy Run was started years ago by bikers, you know big, hairy, leather wearing, mean looking, types that ride really loud, oil leaking, Harley Davidson or some other type of 2 wheel conveyance that scared the crap out way to many future Mother-in-Laws. Over the years this has become a major source of toys for the USMC's Toys for Tots and the yearly roar of its engines in Bugusta is now legendary.
Enter Big Mike and a few friends who came up with an idea for doing the same thing with cars and trucks. They put this together and got about every club in the state involved and in the first year pulled in 149 vehicles and enough toys to fill 2 vans and then some. At this first Toy Run, also held in Bugusta, Cheryl Page showed up with a Pick-up Truck filled with toys. I think that means she liked the idea.
Well to shorten this up, the TOY RUN is now in the more than capable hands of the Pages and is not being held in Bugusta as the details above show. the location in Porkland is a great place because I have been to the Portland Motor Club to see if it is good enough and believe me it is. In the true all Clubs Format the Pages have enlisted Down East Street Rods to do the cooking so they too, can benefit by making money for there charity. Some of the other details are still being worked on, but have no fear the Pages get stuff done.
So on September 7th, where are you going to hang out? Home, or with us at the Portland Motor Club
5/25/09
Captain Nut Sack Takes A Hike
When last we saw our beloved Captain, he was using sharp objects to cut ties with other clubs that would not support him in his endeavor to piss off as many people as possible without cutting his own throat. Soon after my last posting of the further adventures of the Illustrious Captain Nut Sack, word came to me that he has left his post in a snit. A snit ? What the hell is a snit, the dictionary says it means in a state of agitation or irritation. So he was pissed off (in a snit) and quit.
The reason will remain forever buried in the minutes of the day after the meeting that most everything he wanted was voted down. It is a sad day when the leaders of a club or organization or hobby think so highly of themselves that they don’t bother with the facts or feelings of the people that helped them along the way.
Captain Nut Sack took advantage of a lot of good people and damn near killed a major club with a major club event only weeks away. Many of the old members were notified and are returning to help with the show and other clubs are even coming up to volunteer their members to help as this is a good show.
The regime and legacy of Captain Nut Sack and his main squeeze will not be pretty or probably recorded, but his dirty hand prints on the throat of this club will take a long time to fade away. Some of the wounds he opened with the membership and other clubs may never heal and when they do he will not be wanted in many circles. His minions still hang around the carcass he left behind in hopes of dividing the leftovers among themselves, but so far sit quietly, not knowing when its time to run away.
The club itself will have to determine its own path and how the future will treat it but it knows now that is safe from the harm it once saw and that its friends are there to make sure it gets over the hump of an event.
It will reorganize itself into a more member friendly club or totally fold . But that is up to them.
So long Captain Nut Sack, may you find what you deserve or with luck may it find you first.
And it will not be the club of old… ever again.
The reason will remain forever buried in the minutes of the day after the meeting that most everything he wanted was voted down. It is a sad day when the leaders of a club or organization or hobby think so highly of themselves that they don’t bother with the facts or feelings of the people that helped them along the way.
Captain Nut Sack took advantage of a lot of good people and damn near killed a major club with a major club event only weeks away. Many of the old members were notified and are returning to help with the show and other clubs are even coming up to volunteer their members to help as this is a good show.
The regime and legacy of Captain Nut Sack and his main squeeze will not be pretty or probably recorded, but his dirty hand prints on the throat of this club will take a long time to fade away. Some of the wounds he opened with the membership and other clubs may never heal and when they do he will not be wanted in many circles. His minions still hang around the carcass he left behind in hopes of dividing the leftovers among themselves, but so far sit quietly, not knowing when its time to run away.
The club itself will have to determine its own path and how the future will treat it but it knows now that is safe from the harm it once saw and that its friends are there to make sure it gets over the hump of an event.
It will reorganize itself into a more member friendly club or totally fold . But that is up to them.
So long Captain Nut Sack, may you find what you deserve or with luck may it find you first.
And it will not be the club of old… ever again.
5/24/09
Naples
For years I have gone to Mount Vernon to attend the Flying Pond Broadcasting Car Show. Somehow this year I was talked into the Naples American Legion Car Show.
First let me say that Mt. Vernon is a quaint little town with a quirky little car show whose greatest entertainment value was the Dragon Fly Release that keeps the bugs down. I believe that Flying Pond Broadcasting is 2 guys in the town truck with a C.B. Radio laughing all the way to the bank. The Shows location is behind a private home that has super food, a country store down the road and some of the nicest people.
So I went to Naples, which is a quaint little town that is a little larger than Mt. Vernon and it also had a quirky little car show that was a little quirkier than Mt. Vernon. The one thing that Naples could have had was the Dragon Fly Release to keep the bugs down.
Quirks come with new shows, this isn't a new show. This was the 3rd year and it basically needs another 3 or 4 more to get it right. So it had problems, some can be chalked up to ineptitude by the organizers, mother nature and a field in lousy condition. The problems with the organizers were more with staff that didn't know a street rod from antique from tuner. First rule of car shows, the guy that has the most knowledge should be the guy classing vehicles. This got taken care of quickly.
Mother nature was not cooperating at all but not even the weather guy got it right. So no bad There.
Now the field could be summed up by saying this, Step Step ditch, step divot step and my all time favorite step divot ditch fall shit. That was minor and watching your step was in order at most places on the field. Outside the fence was a little rough with some large tank trap style craters here and there. Inside the fence was better but not much. Second rule, smoother surface, cut the grass
Cramming Classes into areas that were meant for smaller vehicles probably was the worse infraction, especially the 3 truck classes up behind the bleachers like lepers in Ben-Hur.
But now to the big No No. Judges that screwed up the judging. How can you judge a class and award 2 of those trophies to vehicles not registered in that class. Case in point 70's Stock and 70's Modified, 1st place in 70's modified, went to a car in that class 2nd & 3rd went to cars in 70's stock. Ok then, explain to me how a 1st place trophy went to car that wasn't even registered, check the antiques classes.
Many people will not come back to this show due to the opinion that it needs to get better, fast.
I agree that things went from bad to worse to good to bad and yes it needs work. But they tried. The brightest spot was the visit from old friends that we hadn't seen in 18years or more. How things change with time.
How some things never change. Although I missed the awards ceromony due to our visit with old friends, it looked like they cornered the market on Cheap Ass Trophies
I like Dragon Flies
First let me say that Mt. Vernon is a quaint little town with a quirky little car show whose greatest entertainment value was the Dragon Fly Release that keeps the bugs down. I believe that Flying Pond Broadcasting is 2 guys in the town truck with a C.B. Radio laughing all the way to the bank. The Shows location is behind a private home that has super food, a country store down the road and some of the nicest people.
So I went to Naples, which is a quaint little town that is a little larger than Mt. Vernon and it also had a quirky little car show that was a little quirkier than Mt. Vernon. The one thing that Naples could have had was the Dragon Fly Release to keep the bugs down.
Quirks come with new shows, this isn't a new show. This was the 3rd year and it basically needs another 3 or 4 more to get it right. So it had problems, some can be chalked up to ineptitude by the organizers, mother nature and a field in lousy condition. The problems with the organizers were more with staff that didn't know a street rod from antique from tuner. First rule of car shows, the guy that has the most knowledge should be the guy classing vehicles. This got taken care of quickly.
Mother nature was not cooperating at all but not even the weather guy got it right. So no bad There.
Now the field could be summed up by saying this, Step Step ditch, step divot step and my all time favorite step divot ditch fall shit. That was minor and watching your step was in order at most places on the field. Outside the fence was a little rough with some large tank trap style craters here and there. Inside the fence was better but not much. Second rule, smoother surface, cut the grass
Cramming Classes into areas that were meant for smaller vehicles probably was the worse infraction, especially the 3 truck classes up behind the bleachers like lepers in Ben-Hur.
But now to the big No No. Judges that screwed up the judging. How can you judge a class and award 2 of those trophies to vehicles not registered in that class. Case in point 70's Stock and 70's Modified, 1st place in 70's modified, went to a car in that class 2nd & 3rd went to cars in 70's stock. Ok then, explain to me how a 1st place trophy went to car that wasn't even registered, check the antiques classes.
Many people will not come back to this show due to the opinion that it needs to get better, fast.
I agree that things went from bad to worse to good to bad and yes it needs work. But they tried. The brightest spot was the visit from old friends that we hadn't seen in 18years or more. How things change with time.
How some things never change. Although I missed the awards ceromony due to our visit with old friends, it looked like they cornered the market on Cheap Ass Trophies
I like Dragon Flies
5/21/09
Recognition
Everybody has a reason to go to the car shows. Either to get a trophy and be recognized, just hang out with your friends and be recognized or in some peoples cases kiss some ass to be recognized.
A few entries ago I railed against HotKarz.com on his bid to kiss up to the car show crowd,with his "Best of the Best Awards". I rambled on how this was contradictory to his earlier battles on participant voting, the buddy system if you will. Everyone seemed to ignore the fact that campaigning for votes was a giant factor in getting an Award from HotKarz.com. If you have a Myspace page or Facebook page or a Twitter acount and so on and so forth, you can easily get your peeps, tweets and twits to vote for your car.
You can even use an older technology, E-Mail, as a well respected hobbyist has done just today to be eligible to get a $15.00 cheap ass trophy. Below you will see an e-mail from him asking for my vote. I replaced his name with --- to keep him as innocent as possible.
Hi Folks,
As some of you may already know, I was fortunate enough to take First Place at the Bonney Eagle Car Show. Becuase of this, I am eligible to win the "Best of the Fifties" title. All that I have to do is play a little politics. That's where you come in... If you could be so kind as to send an e-mail to ptwoodycrew@aol.com with "Best of the 50's" in the subject line and write my name --- -----in the message, then your votes will help me win the title. Only one vote per e-mail address. I appreciate your support.
Thank you,--- -----
Now many of you have probably recieved this and have wondered if --- deserves your vote, in fact he does, but shouldn't get any for campaigning. Sorry ---, no vote today, back of the line 2 weeks.
This E-mail has put an idea in my tiny little brain. Here we are only 3 or 4 shows into the season and I have already a plea for votes, Correct. So how about I start a campaign of vote grabbing by pleading with everybody to vote for, Drum Roll Please...NONE OF THE ABOVE !!!
If we all do this for the rest of the season maybe he will realize that an award given with a criteria such as this is just a $15.00 cheap ass trophy. Where as an award given for both recognition and appreciation for your involvement in the Hobby is an Award.
A few entries ago I railed against HotKarz.com on his bid to kiss up to the car show crowd,with his "Best of the Best Awards". I rambled on how this was contradictory to his earlier battles on participant voting, the buddy system if you will. Everyone seemed to ignore the fact that campaigning for votes was a giant factor in getting an Award from HotKarz.com. If you have a Myspace page or Facebook page or a Twitter acount and so on and so forth, you can easily get your peeps, tweets and twits to vote for your car.
You can even use an older technology, E-Mail, as a well respected hobbyist has done just today to be eligible to get a $15.00 cheap ass trophy. Below you will see an e-mail from him asking for my vote. I replaced his name with --- to keep him as innocent as possible.
Hi Folks,
As some of you may already know, I was fortunate enough to take First Place at the Bonney Eagle Car Show. Becuase of this, I am eligible to win the "Best of the Fifties" title. All that I have to do is play a little politics. That's where you come in... If you could be so kind as to send an e-mail to ptwoodycrew@aol.com with "Best of the 50's" in the subject line and write my name --- -----in the message, then your votes will help me win the title. Only one vote per e-mail address. I appreciate your support.
Thank you,--- -----
Now many of you have probably recieved this and have wondered if --- deserves your vote, in fact he does, but shouldn't get any for campaigning. Sorry ---, no vote today, back of the line 2 weeks.
This E-mail has put an idea in my tiny little brain. Here we are only 3 or 4 shows into the season and I have already a plea for votes, Correct. So how about I start a campaign of vote grabbing by pleading with everybody to vote for, Drum Roll Please...NONE OF THE ABOVE !!!
If we all do this for the rest of the season maybe he will realize that an award given with a criteria such as this is just a $15.00 cheap ass trophy. Where as an award given for both recognition and appreciation for your involvement in the Hobby is an Award.
5/20/09
Cruise Nights
Yep, its that time of year and the Cruise Nights are popping out for the season. Or is that peeping out, as in the little peepers you hear in low swampy areas, that come forth in hundreds to tell you spring is here. Whatever you call it, cruise nights are here for the season.
I actually enjoy cruise nights, they are free, they are close by or not to far away and usually well organized. What does it take to organize a Cruise Night? You need a place and people that can drive and park somewhat orderly. What is so difficult about that? Location, location, location.
You have to have a place to preen all the egos that show up and need people fawning all over their cars. Exposure to the masses as they say, is tantamount to a successful Cruise Night. I think it must be written someplace in the Idiot's Guide to Cruise Nights.
Another way to tell its Cruise Night Season is listen for the call of the ticket sellers yelling 50/50. This call can be heard far and wide at a business parking lot near you. The most obnoxious call in the world is the call "50/50" at a decibel level unfit for the human ear unless you wear hearing protection. The worst I've heard is the one that sounds like a cross between Elvira Gulch from the Wizard of OZ and the Aflac duck with underwear that is to tight. My god that woman can give you chills at 100 yards.
Then we get into this DJ stuff, dude turn it down. Why do we need these people who constantly play music that I didn't really enjoy when I was younger and really get a headache when I hear it now. Then they crank up the volume to a level higher than it needs to be, causing Elvira to screech her mating call even louder. Work together people, its easier. To think some of these Clown Academy rejects actually get paid good money to play music is astonishing. Then it gets ugly when the Quiz games come on or Let's Draw a door prize on the blue ticket. Play the damn music will ya. Try to keep the badly told jokes and mindless prattle to a minimum, 90% of the time it only proves that your mouth runs better than most faucets.
But I actually enjoy Cruise Nights. It gives me something to rant about.
My next rant will be on dental hygiene or the care and feeding of your tooth.
I actually enjoy cruise nights, they are free, they are close by or not to far away and usually well organized. What does it take to organize a Cruise Night? You need a place and people that can drive and park somewhat orderly. What is so difficult about that? Location, location, location.
You have to have a place to preen all the egos that show up and need people fawning all over their cars. Exposure to the masses as they say, is tantamount to a successful Cruise Night. I think it must be written someplace in the Idiot's Guide to Cruise Nights.
Another way to tell its Cruise Night Season is listen for the call of the ticket sellers yelling 50/50. This call can be heard far and wide at a business parking lot near you. The most obnoxious call in the world is the call "50/50" at a decibel level unfit for the human ear unless you wear hearing protection. The worst I've heard is the one that sounds like a cross between Elvira Gulch from the Wizard of OZ and the Aflac duck with underwear that is to tight. My god that woman can give you chills at 100 yards.
Then we get into this DJ stuff, dude turn it down. Why do we need these people who constantly play music that I didn't really enjoy when I was younger and really get a headache when I hear it now. Then they crank up the volume to a level higher than it needs to be, causing Elvira to screech her mating call even louder. Work together people, its easier. To think some of these Clown Academy rejects actually get paid good money to play music is astonishing. Then it gets ugly when the Quiz games come on or Let's Draw a door prize on the blue ticket. Play the damn music will ya. Try to keep the badly told jokes and mindless prattle to a minimum, 90% of the time it only proves that your mouth runs better than most faucets.
But I actually enjoy Cruise Nights. It gives me something to rant about.
My next rant will be on dental hygiene or the care and feeding of your tooth.
5/19/09
Would You Like some Cherry Pie
A few years ago a man came on the car show scene with a sly smile and a few kind words. He became a fixture at many events and started a network of enthusiasts that all listened with great intent at his stories that sounded like they should make sense. We all watched in awe at his opinions on the scene and we all thought this is a good guy.
I myself called him friend and treated him as one should treat a friend, with respect, with honesty. Everyone who came to know him did the same and he in kind. He started a movement to keep the car show scene straight and discredited those shows that got it all wrong.
Then as though his ego grew like a tumor he became arrogant and thought himself the Authority of the Scene. He began to openly argue that his opinion was more important than all others.
He has since thought himself a self styled leader in this hobby, that we all know and love. But now he has turned on several of his friends, because they have disagreed with his opinion or stated their own as loud as he.
I have been on the scene since 1992, with a more than avid participation in car shows and have no recollection of his presence on the scene up until last year. His credentials show nothing to prove he has more knowledge of the scene than I. Yet I am treated like a fool because I have chosen to disagree with his opinions at times.
He has railed against the system of voting and judging at shows and we have agreed. Now he has contradicted himself by allowing an award program that works on the voting system he so hated but now embraces. He has begun to say one thing and do another, when caught, denying his involvement.
His publications via print and internet are filled with his own ideas yet nothing is printed in these works that can be used to verify any of his findings and claims with facts.
Today was the last straw that I will take from him and anyone who reads this knows the meaning in my words. Today was the last time he will hear my opinion on any subject he wants to mention. This time I will walk away knowing that I was used as a target, because I did not agree with a definition and gave people a look at a different view, while still agreeing with him and backing his opinion on the subject. Yet he took my statements out of context and made me out the fool. With a condescending tone in his words, his feeble attempt at an apology will not be accepted now or in the future.
My friendship with this man has been surprisingly short and regrettably now it has ended. By his own words he has struck a blow that has ended our days and caused an opinion that will eventually be his demise.
Respect and honor evidently mean nothing to him, as he has treated someone who treated him with respect like a piece of gum on the bottom of his shoe.
We are done Mr.Bill, We are done...
I myself called him friend and treated him as one should treat a friend, with respect, with honesty. Everyone who came to know him did the same and he in kind. He started a movement to keep the car show scene straight and discredited those shows that got it all wrong.
Then as though his ego grew like a tumor he became arrogant and thought himself the Authority of the Scene. He began to openly argue that his opinion was more important than all others.
He has since thought himself a self styled leader in this hobby, that we all know and love. But now he has turned on several of his friends, because they have disagreed with his opinion or stated their own as loud as he.
I have been on the scene since 1992, with a more than avid participation in car shows and have no recollection of his presence on the scene up until last year. His credentials show nothing to prove he has more knowledge of the scene than I. Yet I am treated like a fool because I have chosen to disagree with his opinions at times.
He has railed against the system of voting and judging at shows and we have agreed. Now he has contradicted himself by allowing an award program that works on the voting system he so hated but now embraces. He has begun to say one thing and do another, when caught, denying his involvement.
His publications via print and internet are filled with his own ideas yet nothing is printed in these works that can be used to verify any of his findings and claims with facts.
Today was the last straw that I will take from him and anyone who reads this knows the meaning in my words. Today was the last time he will hear my opinion on any subject he wants to mention. This time I will walk away knowing that I was used as a target, because I did not agree with a definition and gave people a look at a different view, while still agreeing with him and backing his opinion on the subject. Yet he took my statements out of context and made me out the fool. With a condescending tone in his words, his feeble attempt at an apology will not be accepted now or in the future.
My friendship with this man has been surprisingly short and regrettably now it has ended. By his own words he has struck a blow that has ended our days and caused an opinion that will eventually be his demise.
Respect and honor evidently mean nothing to him, as he has treated someone who treated him with respect like a piece of gum on the bottom of his shoe.
We are done Mr.Bill, We are done...
5/17/09
My Bonney Lies Over The Ocean
Over the last few years Bonney Eagle's Car Show has gone to shit and the hogs ate it. In its glory days it was something to look forward to. Not for me, not today. Today was the possibly worst day to have it, thanks to Mother Nature.
So thank you mom for what you did today by not letting me worry about being parked some 3/4 of a mile from the nearest hint of the Show or being stuck in the Afternoon traffic jam that occurs in about 3 places on the way home.
Thank you dearest Mother in your attempt to make me smile at the fact that I wouldn't have to be wet from the rain all day, that some pubescent teen with more acne than a Clearasil ad would want to sell me a T-shirt and fail in their attempt.
Oh Mother of Nature I thank you for helping me to conserve on my budget and not allow me to pay a $5.00 entry fee or 3 bucks for a bad burger. Ma you saved me from standing in line for the honor of using a porta-potty that needed to be emptied or at least deodorized.
As you can tell I didn't attend the Great Bonney Eagle Car Show and for that matter I had no intention of attending it at all.
But I had to say something.
So thank you mom for what you did today by not letting me worry about being parked some 3/4 of a mile from the nearest hint of the Show or being stuck in the Afternoon traffic jam that occurs in about 3 places on the way home.
Thank you dearest Mother in your attempt to make me smile at the fact that I wouldn't have to be wet from the rain all day, that some pubescent teen with more acne than a Clearasil ad would want to sell me a T-shirt and fail in their attempt.
Oh Mother of Nature I thank you for helping me to conserve on my budget and not allow me to pay a $5.00 entry fee or 3 bucks for a bad burger. Ma you saved me from standing in line for the honor of using a porta-potty that needed to be emptied or at least deodorized.
As you can tell I didn't attend the Great Bonney Eagle Car Show and for that matter I had no intention of attending it at all.
But I had to say something.
5/12/09
Another Tourist Camp Pain
This isn't to far off subject because it does affect the way we drive and do things here in the State of Maine during the tourist season. Traffic Patterns change, speeds slow or get exponentially faster depending on the state that particular tourist is from. We even play into it by cranking up the Downeast'ah accent about 5 notches just to get a reaction from the person. Some of our coastal communities depend on the tourist for income and livelihood, as well as entertainment. I myself have been known to give them the wrong directions ,when asked " How do you get to...". Hey like I said its entertainment.
Then the Tourist Bureau steps in to help out in these tough times, by coming up with some type of little campaign with a catch phrase that really is laughable. It would be better to take our little phrases and put them all together in a sentence, than look at them separately.
As you all know the sign reads as you enter our State , "Maine, The Way Life Should Be". Now don't get me wrong, I like the idea that life is good and all, but it should not be the way it is here. With rules and regulations and frigging taxes on everything including the damn taxes, life should not be this way at all.
Enter into our lives the stick boy we call our Governor with his touristy little quaint campaign "There's More To Maine". First Question, Where? There is no more to Maine today than there was yesterday or the day before. We have not annexed parts of Canada or New Hampshire to create "More".
What we do have more of is, more laws, regulations, rules, ordinances for the citizens of our state that somehow don't seem to apply to those from "away". We also have more bad roads, more budget cuts, more taxes, fees, highway tolls and Government interference in our everyday lives than should be. The list could be a full volume in the annals of history of all the "More" we have.
The need of combining these to little catch phrases is overwhelming in my eyes. Coming up with a statement that is closer in truth may deter tourists from acting the way they normally do and be tad more respectful of the true Mainer.
After much thought and some planning I would like to launch a new campaign. The sign would read, "There's More To Maine Than The Way Life Should Be". This would be accompanied by a construction project that would include, a 15 mile stretch of highway with toll booths every 3 miles and fees of $2.00 per car/truck at each booth. The road itself would be constructed in a Loop so that after the 15 miles they would be back in New Hampshire. Oh I forgot to mention that another sign would be viewed on the way out.
Now the revenue generated by this system should be able to pay for better roads and less taxes, it would employ many for a period of time, maybe even have enough to hire a lobbyist to stem the tide of rule making concerning the Citizen. Then maybe after a few years we can have, "The Way Life Should Be". Do the math, it could work.
So you enter the state to a $2.00 toll and a sign that reads, "There's More To Maine Than The Way Life Should Be", you pay your tolls for a total of $12.00 in 15 miles only to see a sign that says, "A'Yuh, And You Don't Get To See It".
Then the Tourist Bureau steps in to help out in these tough times, by coming up with some type of little campaign with a catch phrase that really is laughable. It would be better to take our little phrases and put them all together in a sentence, than look at them separately.
As you all know the sign reads as you enter our State , "Maine, The Way Life Should Be". Now don't get me wrong, I like the idea that life is good and all, but it should not be the way it is here. With rules and regulations and frigging taxes on everything including the damn taxes, life should not be this way at all.
Enter into our lives the stick boy we call our Governor with his touristy little quaint campaign "There's More To Maine". First Question, Where? There is no more to Maine today than there was yesterday or the day before. We have not annexed parts of Canada or New Hampshire to create "More".
What we do have more of is, more laws, regulations, rules, ordinances for the citizens of our state that somehow don't seem to apply to those from "away". We also have more bad roads, more budget cuts, more taxes, fees, highway tolls and Government interference in our everyday lives than should be. The list could be a full volume in the annals of history of all the "More" we have.
The need of combining these to little catch phrases is overwhelming in my eyes. Coming up with a statement that is closer in truth may deter tourists from acting the way they normally do and be tad more respectful of the true Mainer.
After much thought and some planning I would like to launch a new campaign. The sign would read, "There's More To Maine Than The Way Life Should Be". This would be accompanied by a construction project that would include, a 15 mile stretch of highway with toll booths every 3 miles and fees of $2.00 per car/truck at each booth. The road itself would be constructed in a Loop so that after the 15 miles they would be back in New Hampshire. Oh I forgot to mention that another sign would be viewed on the way out.
Now the revenue generated by this system should be able to pay for better roads and less taxes, it would employ many for a period of time, maybe even have enough to hire a lobbyist to stem the tide of rule making concerning the Citizen. Then maybe after a few years we can have, "The Way Life Should Be". Do the math, it could work.
So you enter the state to a $2.00 toll and a sign that reads, "There's More To Maine Than The Way Life Should Be", you pay your tolls for a total of $12.00 in 15 miles only to see a sign that says, "A'Yuh, And You Don't Get To See It".
5/8/09
A Tale of Two Books
As the amount of different car clubs and vehicle enthusiasts has increased so has the number of car shows and events geared toward that end. Getting these different and diverse organizations on the same page is a task that only P. T. Barnum would attempt. Somehow the Rusty Nuts has achieved that with the "All Clubs Meeting" held in the spring of the past few years, to accolades from around the state. Now we have less overlap and repetition of dates and events.
Now that the organizations seem to be on the same page, getting this information to the masses has always been word of mouth and those damn fliers or as my grand dad would have said "handbills". You know the stuff that clutters up your car, falls into every nook and cranny , fly around as you drive down the road and are just a general pain in the ass. Then you get home write down all the dates and have this stack of colored paper that is totally useless. You can't even use it for emergency ass wipe, it's usually colored and who wants a green or orange neon skid mark in their shorts.
Enter the Motor Menders. These guys & gals came up with a way to get the information to the masses and raise money for their charity of choice, a book. They sat down and did some major leg work and came up with enough advertisers to cover most of the cost of the book. Using past contact information they contacted a lot of show organizers and got the info needed early enough to put out a comprehensive publication of events. Given free to the public with donations taken but not demanded. All done for their charity.
Now into the room enters a 400lb. gorilla. There is a private company that will be renamed Slick Paper Products for the sake of this Blog. After seeing the success gained by the Motor Menders in their endeavor, the owners of Slick Paper Products saw an opportunity to profit from an others idea. They used every ploy known and came up with the glossy papered book full of flashy ass ads and look what we did attitude.
The only problem was the content. It was a mess to put it kindly. If you needed to find an event you would still need a map and compass to be able to find the correct page you were on. Dates for events were so screwed up you wondered if a Chinese calendar was used.
After allegedly fixing the publication for the next years run the content hasn't really become better, but at least you can put away the compass (keep the map out) and a Julian Date system has been used on some events. Given free to the public. All done for profit.
Its sad when a volunteer organization gets overrun with glitz, glamour, flash and frills. But rumor has it the Motor Menders no longer will be publishing their book after this year due to the competition for advertisers and time involved.
Next time you see a Motor Mender thank them, that's all they asked for.
Now that the organizations seem to be on the same page, getting this information to the masses has always been word of mouth and those damn fliers or as my grand dad would have said "handbills". You know the stuff that clutters up your car, falls into every nook and cranny , fly around as you drive down the road and are just a general pain in the ass. Then you get home write down all the dates and have this stack of colored paper that is totally useless. You can't even use it for emergency ass wipe, it's usually colored and who wants a green or orange neon skid mark in their shorts.
Enter the Motor Menders. These guys & gals came up with a way to get the information to the masses and raise money for their charity of choice, a book. They sat down and did some major leg work and came up with enough advertisers to cover most of the cost of the book. Using past contact information they contacted a lot of show organizers and got the info needed early enough to put out a comprehensive publication of events. Given free to the public with donations taken but not demanded. All done for their charity.
Now into the room enters a 400lb. gorilla. There is a private company that will be renamed Slick Paper Products for the sake of this Blog. After seeing the success gained by the Motor Menders in their endeavor, the owners of Slick Paper Products saw an opportunity to profit from an others idea. They used every ploy known and came up with the glossy papered book full of flashy ass ads and look what we did attitude.
The only problem was the content. It was a mess to put it kindly. If you needed to find an event you would still need a map and compass to be able to find the correct page you were on. Dates for events were so screwed up you wondered if a Chinese calendar was used.
After allegedly fixing the publication for the next years run the content hasn't really become better, but at least you can put away the compass (keep the map out) and a Julian Date system has been used on some events. Given free to the public. All done for profit.
Its sad when a volunteer organization gets overrun with glitz, glamour, flash and frills. But rumor has it the Motor Menders no longer will be publishing their book after this year due to the competition for advertisers and time involved.
Next time you see a Motor Mender thank them, that's all they asked for.
5/7/09
Captain Nut Sack and The Search For The Lost Mind
When last we saw our intrepid hero, he was covering his ass with whatever he could reach. In this case size does matter, due to the fact he couldn't reach enough to cover the large estate he had left exposed.
The Bluff was called at the last meeting and now he has tried to spread out his campaign of misinformation and deceit to another club by trying (in vain) to join their membership. The other club knowing him better than he thought, refused by vote to let him become a member. Either the other club saw through his side show of smoke and mirrors or they may have a rule that, as in most golf games, you can't use two clubs at a time.
Now here's a plot twist. Members of this other club, are former members of his club, who broke away and formed the other club to get what they wanted in a club. Feeling wounded at the time of the break, it has taken many years to heal the wound that has existed between the two clubs.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, his existing members are leaving in droves. Not just because of him, but also his little set of matching minions, that scurry around feeling important helping to spread more lies and tall tales of misinformation pointing in the direction of the former members. Some of the remaining members are valiantly fighting a never ending battle to keep the club alive and well.
Captain Nut Sack has since taken it upon himself to cut all ties with the other club in the name of his club without his club voting or having any type of opportunity to discuss the matter let alone vote on it. Thus the old wound has been reopened and probably never to heal again, without the removal of a Nut Sack.
The Bluff was called at the last meeting and now he has tried to spread out his campaign of misinformation and deceit to another club by trying (in vain) to join their membership. The other club knowing him better than he thought, refused by vote to let him become a member. Either the other club saw through his side show of smoke and mirrors or they may have a rule that, as in most golf games, you can't use two clubs at a time.
Now here's a plot twist. Members of this other club, are former members of his club, who broke away and formed the other club to get what they wanted in a club. Feeling wounded at the time of the break, it has taken many years to heal the wound that has existed between the two clubs.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, his existing members are leaving in droves. Not just because of him, but also his little set of matching minions, that scurry around feeling important helping to spread more lies and tall tales of misinformation pointing in the direction of the former members. Some of the remaining members are valiantly fighting a never ending battle to keep the club alive and well.
Captain Nut Sack has since taken it upon himself to cut all ties with the other club in the name of his club without his club voting or having any type of opportunity to discuss the matter let alone vote on it. Thus the old wound has been reopened and probably never to heal again, without the removal of a Nut Sack.
5/4/09
Filling An Ear
Yesterday the Car Show Season opened with a whimper, Medomak Cruising to Graduation. The Show was Super but the participants were cautious. The only complaint as far as a second hand source heard was about Mustangs. I personally saw trophy poachers moving around but they were almost legit changes. Nobody complained about so and so being in the wrong class. The usual screw up with the wrong numbers happened. No screaming during the awards ceremonies. I almost had to pinch myself to make sure I was awake.
Seeing old friends that you haven't seen in a while, is always a good time. Talking to old friends is even better. Letting people know what your up to face to face is always so much better than phones or e-mail. Seeing the changes in people is a little more difficult. Oh sure we packed on a few pounds, but the attitudes have changed in a lot of people. Some are not as happy with the political climate as they all hoped they would be. Some think the economy is going to kill the show season. Some are less aggressive and others were actually quieter than they have been in years.
I think a few could use a swift and painful kick in the ass because they are still the arrogant pricks they were and think they are the rulers of the universe. These are the ones who were laying low yesterday, murmuring amongst themselves from the far corners of the sight and giving me dirty looks at every glance. Don't worry I'm not scared of them or what they want to do to the show scene by calling for cookie cutter car show recipes pulled from a book of magic potions and spells sprinkled with a dose of look at me and what we've done.
What I said at the beginning about the participants being cautious is probably due to this group of Car Show Alchemists and their Grand Oompah Loompah watching everything that goes on, only later to let rip on the blog of opinions that everyone reads with glee, because lets face it, we all have a masochistic side.
Oh and before I forget, Hotkarz is doing their Best Of The Best Award thing on this, so make sure all you guys get your friends to vote for your car so you can get your $15.00 cheap ass trophy.
Seeing old friends that you haven't seen in a while, is always a good time. Talking to old friends is even better. Letting people know what your up to face to face is always so much better than phones or e-mail. Seeing the changes in people is a little more difficult. Oh sure we packed on a few pounds, but the attitudes have changed in a lot of people. Some are not as happy with the political climate as they all hoped they would be. Some think the economy is going to kill the show season. Some are less aggressive and others were actually quieter than they have been in years.
I think a few could use a swift and painful kick in the ass because they are still the arrogant pricks they were and think they are the rulers of the universe. These are the ones who were laying low yesterday, murmuring amongst themselves from the far corners of the sight and giving me dirty looks at every glance. Don't worry I'm not scared of them or what they want to do to the show scene by calling for cookie cutter car show recipes pulled from a book of magic potions and spells sprinkled with a dose of look at me and what we've done.
What I said at the beginning about the participants being cautious is probably due to this group of Car Show Alchemists and their Grand Oompah Loompah watching everything that goes on, only later to let rip on the blog of opinions that everyone reads with glee, because lets face it, we all have a masochistic side.
Oh and before I forget, Hotkarz is doing their Best Of The Best Award thing on this, so make sure all you guys get your friends to vote for your car so you can get your $15.00 cheap ass trophy.
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