Cast of Players

Over the years this rag has accumulated a cast of players that have shown us that they live and breed among us. We had a Dancing Dipstick in the early years that showed us how to move ones lips and say nothing but useless prattle that annoyed multitudes.


Enter Captain Nutsack who's adventures we followed for a time, showing us a lesson in trust, a demigod like attitude and an amount of arrogance that only the leader of North Korea would envy. His followers were the finger pointers and rumor spreaders of their short time in power and caused a very big and fruitful organization to wither and almost die.


The Right Reverend Fudgewhistle is alive and well in his Church of the Immaculate Contraption. He still has a sermon from time to time but he has grown weary with time and age. His congregation has dwindled to but a few and they to have seen the light... of the oncoming train. I converse with him whenever I see him and our relationship is one of mutual respect with just a hint of dislike.


Now you must realize that all these characters are caricatures of a combination of people we all know and have slammed in person or in conversation. No harm is meant, just some good old fashioned style head cutting like we used to do on the corner as kids talking about your mother.


Another man of the cloth we often poked with a litter box was the Reverend Cat Crate and although I try not to keep to close an eye on this one, his antics at car shows or even at a convenience store are hilarious if nothing else or depending on your perspective a sad state of affairs just to get that ever elusive $25.00 Cheap Ass Trophy.


The reason behind this rag has disappeared from the interweb and our understanding is his health has virtually crippled him. Although our verbal fisticuffs were almost legendary our point-counter point banter is missed and I fear we may not see his like again.


Most recently we introduced Capt. Happy Pants and I'm quite sure there will be more adventures with him as the season gears up so stay tuned on that character.


So now that I have bored you with the past, let me introduce our newest player. He hails from parts unknown and seems to be blind for he couldn't hit his ass with both hands or the broad side of a barn. The reason is blindness and a lack of ambition. His motis operendi is spreading his take on a subject as fact and listening to the voices in his head for verification. His name will be Chef Rumore who cooks things up in his head and serves it up to the public for consumption. Thus the feast of gossip we contended with yesterday about Cruise Maine pulling the plug.

HYPE

That's all it was. Just hype.


The All Clubs Social was business as usual with a slightly smaller turnout than in years past either due to Daytona being run, the weather or just a plain lack of open mindedness in support of the event.


After hearing from several different sources, some of whom will become additions to the myriad of character stories that get printed here, that this that and another bullshit rumor thing was going to happen were put to bed upon arrival. The Magazine is going on as planned with no hint of it being cancelled next year.


Great time good people and nobody cried.

Bumbles Bounce

Next time a scientist says "global warming" stick his over educated ass in the snow bank with the -3 temp and the wind whistling through his empty head and ask him how warm that feels.
Rudolph said fuck it and will not lead the way on Sunday.
The All Clubs Social has been postponed to the 22nd of the Month.

WTF is Ruminate?

Got this via that thing called E-mail, I changed the names to protect the innocent and left out the names of some to protect them from lawyers and other vermin.

  With the All Clubs meeting less than a week away, Captain Happy Pants' remark that he doesn't make any money on this endeavor keeps coming back to mind.  So I checked last year's book...if all events that are listed will occur again, 102 (Maine); 60 (NH) single events and 28 (Maine); 21 (NH) for a total of 211 X  $49 = $10,339 !!!!!

I'm not a publisher and I have yet to contact on individual that has a 1/4 page ad (out of curiousity) to find out what they paid...that seems like a very unrealistic amount of money to publish it.

  Needed to get this in print and to you so you can ruminate about it.

Had to look up ruminate to be sure of its meaning and for those that didn't watch the Beverly Hillbillies as youngsters Jethro did ruminate a bit.

Ruminate:  to think carefully and deeply about something
                  of an animal : to bring up and chew again what has already been chewed and swallowed


After some thought, not much just some, I'm thinking that this is the All Clubs Social and Information Meeting and this event needs our support. THE EVENT NEEDS OUR SUPPORT. Captain Happy Pants is on his own. How he does things is his prerogative.


My opinion goes back a long way. A bus transfer and a train ride are included.


 

Motorsport???

Let's see, 4 ft. of snow in 7 days, Must be almost spring. Superbowl is over, Must almost spring. Daytona in 3 weeks, Must be almost spring.


Spring means Motorsports. NASCAR, NHRA Drag Racing, OPS and the dragway will be running this year. But the one motorsport we are forgetting is the rage of Japan and somewhat of a sport here in the USA and that is Drifting.


That sport entails sliding around corners sideways allowing your car to "drift" thru the corner and do this as long and as often as possible. Points are taken away from your "run" if you allow your car to run in a straight line for to long. There a few versions of this that include more than one car on the course at a time and the fastest time with most style points takes home the prize.


Hmm a race with style points and time as a factor, while at the same time sliding your car thru a corner.


We have a New England version of that sport. The points for style are given for the look of horror on your passengers face. More points are given if you spin completely around in more than 360 degrees without tossing your cookies and the prize winner is the one that does all this without messing his or her pants.


We call it driving in winter.