...We look back at our season with an eye toward the worst WTF moment I've heard of. To think I was there and never stayed long enough to see it.
Of course I'm talking about the Oxford Bow Incident, where the hanging of Billy Red Claw in effigy and the tarring and feathering of a certain track employee should have been in order. As always a cooler head prevailed and I can actually say the owner of the vehicle showed tremondous fortitude in not cutting off someones balls in anger. Could we interest you in Red Claw season tickets?
With a new track owner will this show or in last years case, debacle, continue. Only Snuize Mane can say. Does anybody really care? Yes as loosing another show to lousy reviews will only make the season that much shorter. We all need to step up in either helping the crew at Snuize Mane with the show itself or get them a venue we can all enjoy.
Then we come to the weekend that I myself truly misread. Going to the Cumberbun Sho and Walk a Fucking Mile to Piss Car Show was possibly the wrong thing to do. Bridgton played second fiddle but it was at the least a known commodity. Cumberland was poorly planned, poorly laid out and from what I heard possibly the worst awards ceromony this season. As arrogant as some of the MOALS can be, at this time I would have to say yes, if they said their show would be on a manure pile.
We jump to July and can possibly say it needs more shows. The beginning of the month is a vast wasteland of nothing, with the exception of the Front Street Shuffle in Bath. That in itself is possibly the funnest day with a ton of cars, a nice downtown to visit and Fair Food. Maybe more of these would be better than what the rest of the month offered.
We come to the Gorham Lions that either need more room to put on their show or a brain. I vote Brain. The layout was so so but they had room for bigger classes. The rest showed us who the Crayon eaters were and who really likes licking windows. But the same could be said for Belgrade.
One could only hope that at some time during the Belgrade show that the Judges would actually do their respective jobs and Judge. Either that or they get a fire call that day and not show up. The only real bright spot on this one is the trip home. Stopping for a burger and bottomless Root Beer Floats at the Red Robin in Augusta makes you smile even after watching this "CAR SHOW" pick the trailer queens over the drivers.
Stay Tuned
10/28/12
10/27/12
Hindsight
Hindsight is 20/20, 20/20 is a news show on television. This ain't the news or television. It's my little chunk of heaven, so quit eating them crayons and stop licking the windows sunshine, this is EXHAUST FUMES.
We started out in Auburn with some hot rod inspections and ended on a slightly damp field in New Gloucester. The question being what the hell happened in between.
Medomak was as always the first big show of our season and tested its muscles by running out of room or damn close to it. Some said it was a clusterfuck and I agree, but it was a clusterfuck in a good way. The crew at Medomak actually learns from year to year.The only problem I saw was the room issue and with some planning and a weather forecast in their favor I'm sure Medomak will pull off a good show again in 2013.
If the ones that thought Medomak was a cluster they should have followed us down to Bentleys Saloon that same day. Ain't nothin cozier than 200 some cars with the same amount of burly bikers and some scary looking females to turn a place like Bentleys into a clusterfuck. That got the first of many WTF moments given out this year.
The king of all overcrowded, falling by the wayside, should have gone belly up about 5 years prior, is of course the somewhat celebrated, thankfully never duplicated, someone masturbated, Boney Beagle Dog and Pony Show. Why do we go? Because we are all into whips and chains and power tools and love a good beating on the Sunday after Mothers Day. Ya think?
Speaking of Mothers Day Somebody please grow a set and do a show on Moms Day, they like old cars to.
We are going to jump ahead to end this installment, because 50% of you are now nodding off and dreaming of the big box of Crayola's, having already licked the glue off the wallpaper.
The WEEKEND FROM HELL, or the Clark Memorial Fryeburg Rod Run Togus BBQ Harrison by the Lake Dover Foxcroft Massholevanian What the Fuck Were They Thinking Weekend. Now I know that some of this was etched in stone. But you gotta realize that there were at least 5 if not more weekends that many of us sat around wondering what the color periwinkle tastes like.
Hopefully you can sort some of this mess out so we can enjoy a few more events through out the season. Having that many events in 2 days is mean and just plain unfriendly. If you didn't want people at your event that actually enjoy your event why have your event or if I need better deodorant just tell me.
Stay Tuned.
We started out in Auburn with some hot rod inspections and ended on a slightly damp field in New Gloucester. The question being what the hell happened in between.
Medomak was as always the first big show of our season and tested its muscles by running out of room or damn close to it. Some said it was a clusterfuck and I agree, but it was a clusterfuck in a good way. The crew at Medomak actually learns from year to year.The only problem I saw was the room issue and with some planning and a weather forecast in their favor I'm sure Medomak will pull off a good show again in 2013.
If the ones that thought Medomak was a cluster they should have followed us down to Bentleys Saloon that same day. Ain't nothin cozier than 200 some cars with the same amount of burly bikers and some scary looking females to turn a place like Bentleys into a clusterfuck. That got the first of many WTF moments given out this year.
The king of all overcrowded, falling by the wayside, should have gone belly up about 5 years prior, is of course the somewhat celebrated, thankfully never duplicated, someone masturbated, Boney Beagle Dog and Pony Show. Why do we go? Because we are all into whips and chains and power tools and love a good beating on the Sunday after Mothers Day. Ya think?
Speaking of Mothers Day Somebody please grow a set and do a show on Moms Day, they like old cars to.
We are going to jump ahead to end this installment, because 50% of you are now nodding off and dreaming of the big box of Crayola's, having already licked the glue off the wallpaper.
The WEEKEND FROM HELL, or the Clark Memorial Fryeburg Rod Run Togus BBQ Harrison by the Lake Dover Foxcroft Massholevanian What the Fuck Were They Thinking Weekend. Now I know that some of this was etched in stone. But you gotta realize that there were at least 5 if not more weekends that many of us sat around wondering what the color periwinkle tastes like.
Hopefully you can sort some of this mess out so we can enjoy a few more events through out the season. Having that many events in 2 days is mean and just plain unfriendly. If you didn't want people at your event that actually enjoy your event why have your event or if I need better deodorant just tell me.
Stay Tuned.
10/20/12
End
The G-NG Lions Car Show marked the end of the show season with all the fanfare of a bean fart.
The weather was a deterrent for many enthusiasts who spent all week washing and cleaning their cars and didn't want to get wet. Really? Please if you watercolor paint job is that fucking fragile then we are glad you stayed home wrapped in your mommies afghan, sipping some herbal tea, picking out the dam home we are going to stick your wimpy ass in next week.
It was the last show of the season and probably the last time we will see some folks till next season. 75 cars and trucks put up with dense fog, drizzle and a 5 minute shower in support of a Car Show that needs support. Lets face it we are loosing car shows faster than we are creating them. This one is far from the best but it sure beats a kick in the balls.
As always the G-NG Lions Car Show provided us with a few WTF moments and most shrugged it off as now it seems normal. The fair went on as it should and being an election year the politicians were as thick as the fog. At least they had them down by the shit houses so we could carry their campaign message a shorter distance and the sun actually made an appearance although briefly.
Speaking of Shit houses it seems that an abundance of toilet paper was in supply and I think most everybody involved got the fucking point. At least nobody showed their ass by spreading rumors.
Stay tuned the year in review could be funny or brutal.
The weather was a deterrent for many enthusiasts who spent all week washing and cleaning their cars and didn't want to get wet. Really? Please if you watercolor paint job is that fucking fragile then we are glad you stayed home wrapped in your mommies afghan, sipping some herbal tea, picking out the dam home we are going to stick your wimpy ass in next week.
It was the last show of the season and probably the last time we will see some folks till next season. 75 cars and trucks put up with dense fog, drizzle and a 5 minute shower in support of a Car Show that needs support. Lets face it we are loosing car shows faster than we are creating them. This one is far from the best but it sure beats a kick in the balls.
As always the G-NG Lions Car Show provided us with a few WTF moments and most shrugged it off as now it seems normal. The fair went on as it should and being an election year the politicians were as thick as the fog. At least they had them down by the shit houses so we could carry their campaign message a shorter distance and the sun actually made an appearance although briefly.
Speaking of Shit houses it seems that an abundance of toilet paper was in supply and I think most everybody involved got the fucking point. At least nobody showed their ass by spreading rumors.
Stay tuned the year in review could be funny or brutal.
10/14/12
Rain In, Rain Out
Hot Rod Fallout VII In S. Glastonbury, CT. was this weekend and a damp start was Friday where a few Road Scholars headed south in the rain.
Heading south in the rain was easy. The hard part was staying warm while heading south in the rain at the temp it was. Brr, brr, fucking raisinettes brr.. The Start time was the key to the whole thing. Leave early enough to avoid backed up Traffic on I-95 around Boston, get through Worcester before 3pm and just steer clear of Hartford all together.
I-495 is a joke. Launching your car off the ground on bridges at 75 is not. At some point you realizing that driving defensively is stupid and being aggressive is much more fun. People tend to move into another lane when seeing 3 hot rods in their rear view, coming hard and fast and not slowing a bit.
That must have held true for a few hours as another group of Road Scholars showed up later in the evening. Words Out.
The event itself is on Saturday with bands, vendors, Pre-63 vehicles and food, oops forgot, adult beverages were available. We arrived to be 17th on the field and by the time the end of the day rolled through there were 500 or more on the field. When we headed out to the event in the morning it was in the 30's at the end it was a warm and toasty 57.
Not like today.
And now for the bad part.
NEXT WEEK IS THE LAST SHOW.
Heading south in the rain was easy. The hard part was staying warm while heading south in the rain at the temp it was. Brr, brr, fucking raisinettes brr.. The Start time was the key to the whole thing. Leave early enough to avoid backed up Traffic on I-95 around Boston, get through Worcester before 3pm and just steer clear of Hartford all together.
I-495 is a joke. Launching your car off the ground on bridges at 75 is not. At some point you realizing that driving defensively is stupid and being aggressive is much more fun. People tend to move into another lane when seeing 3 hot rods in their rear view, coming hard and fast and not slowing a bit.
That must have held true for a few hours as another group of Road Scholars showed up later in the evening. Words Out.
The event itself is on Saturday with bands, vendors, Pre-63 vehicles and food, oops forgot, adult beverages were available. We arrived to be 17th on the field and by the time the end of the day rolled through there were 500 or more on the field. When we headed out to the event in the morning it was in the 30's at the end it was a warm and toasty 57.
Not like today.
And now for the bad part.
NEXT WEEK IS THE LAST SHOW.
10/7/12
Oxy- More On That Show
Raising money for any charity is tough. Getting any money in this economy is tougher.
Maine Oxy put on their usual bit of a quirky Car Show, raising money for their select charity. It was to say the least a good time. The crowd was a little thin but the impending doom and gloom of misforcasted weather probably had something to do with it. The Foliage Run in Peru also came into play with several locals attending that.
The sad thing is the constant whining from the usual crowd about parking, voting, etc, took away from a warm day and a fun time. The latest rumor had the Road Scholars giving all its Ballots to one person to vote with. First let me say this, as a member of that organization we don't do that shit. I still have my ballot. Second, it is a moot point as extra ballots could be obtained at the registration table just by asking. Third, really, stooping that low will give you bad back.
The auction was a little disapointing with a couple of things still sitting on the table, not meeting the reserve. Partly due to the economy, mostly due due to the crowd. L/A is known for being stingey as what sells in Portland for $20 goes for $15 or less up here.
The bright spot was the Best of Show going to a vehicle fairly new to the scene in a certain 72 Maverick, rather than the collection of stick on doodads and tacky chrome flames in the other corner. Here's a hint, Elvis is dead, God is King, Hair dye is cheap and its time to change the kitty litter.
There is one more to go in New Gloucester on the 20th. Bring a blanket or sun screen it can go either way.
Maine Oxy put on their usual bit of a quirky Car Show, raising money for their select charity. It was to say the least a good time. The crowd was a little thin but the impending doom and gloom of misforcasted weather probably had something to do with it. The Foliage Run in Peru also came into play with several locals attending that.
The sad thing is the constant whining from the usual crowd about parking, voting, etc, took away from a warm day and a fun time. The latest rumor had the Road Scholars giving all its Ballots to one person to vote with. First let me say this, as a member of that organization we don't do that shit. I still have my ballot. Second, it is a moot point as extra ballots could be obtained at the registration table just by asking. Third, really, stooping that low will give you bad back.
The auction was a little disapointing with a couple of things still sitting on the table, not meeting the reserve. Partly due to the economy, mostly due due to the crowd. L/A is known for being stingey as what sells in Portland for $20 goes for $15 or less up here.
The bright spot was the Best of Show going to a vehicle fairly new to the scene in a certain 72 Maverick, rather than the collection of stick on doodads and tacky chrome flames in the other corner. Here's a hint, Elvis is dead, God is King, Hair dye is cheap and its time to change the kitty litter.
There is one more to go in New Gloucester on the 20th. Bring a blanket or sun screen it can go either way.
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