Cast of Players

Over the years this rag has accumulated a cast of players that have shown us that they live and breed among us. We had a Dancing Dipstick in the early years that showed us how to move ones lips and say nothing but useless prattle that annoyed multitudes.


Enter Captain Nutsack who's adventures we followed for a time, showing us a lesson in trust, a demigod like attitude and an amount of arrogance that only the leader of North Korea would envy. His followers were the finger pointers and rumor spreaders of their short time in power and caused a very big and fruitful organization to wither and almost die.


The Right Reverend Fudgewhistle is alive and well in his Church of the Immaculate Contraption. He still has a sermon from time to time but he has grown weary with time and age. His congregation has dwindled to but a few and they to have seen the light... of the oncoming train. I converse with him whenever I see him and our relationship is one of mutual respect with just a hint of dislike.


Now you must realize that all these characters are caricatures of a combination of people we all know and have slammed in person or in conversation. No harm is meant, just some good old fashioned style head cutting like we used to do on the corner as kids talking about your mother.


Another man of the cloth we often poked with a litter box was the Reverend Cat Crate and although I try not to keep to close an eye on this one, his antics at car shows or even at a convenience store are hilarious if nothing else or depending on your perspective a sad state of affairs just to get that ever elusive $25.00 Cheap Ass Trophy.


The reason behind this rag has disappeared from the interweb and our understanding is his health has virtually crippled him. Although our verbal fisticuffs were almost legendary our point-counter point banter is missed and I fear we may not see his like again.


Most recently we introduced Capt. Happy Pants and I'm quite sure there will be more adventures with him as the season gears up so stay tuned on that character.


So now that I have bored you with the past, let me introduce our newest player. He hails from parts unknown and seems to be blind for he couldn't hit his ass with both hands or the broad side of a barn. The reason is blindness and a lack of ambition. His motis operendi is spreading his take on a subject as fact and listening to the voices in his head for verification. His name will be Chef Rumore who cooks things up in his head and serves it up to the public for consumption. Thus the feast of gossip we contended with yesterday about Cruise Maine pulling the plug.