Cruise Nights

Yep, its that time of year and the Cruise Nights are popping out for the season. Or is that peeping out, as in the little peepers you hear in low swampy areas, that come forth in hundreds to tell you spring is here. Whatever you call it, cruise nights are here for the season.

I actually enjoy cruise nights, they are free, they are close by or not to far away and usually well organized. What does it take to organize a Cruise Night? You need a place and people that can drive and park somewhat orderly. What is so difficult about that? Location, location, location.
You have to have a place to preen all the egos that show up and need people fawning all over their cars. Exposure to the masses as they say, is tantamount to a successful Cruise Night. I think it must be written someplace in the Idiot's Guide to Cruise Nights.

Another way to tell its Cruise Night Season is listen for the call of the ticket sellers yelling 50/50. This call can be heard far and wide at a business parking lot near you. The most obnoxious call in the world is the call "50/50" at a decibel level unfit for the human ear unless you wear hearing protection. The worst I've heard is the one that sounds like a cross between Elvira Gulch from the Wizard of OZ and the Aflac duck with underwear that is to tight. My god that woman can give you chills at 100 yards.

Then we get into this DJ stuff, dude turn it down. Why do we need these people who constantly play music that I didn't really enjoy when I was younger and really get a headache when I hear it now. Then they crank up the volume to a level higher than it needs to be, causing Elvira to screech her mating call even louder. Work together people, its easier. To think some of these Clown Academy rejects actually get paid good money to play music is astonishing. Then it gets ugly when the Quiz games come on or Let's Draw a door prize on the blue ticket. Play the damn music will ya. Try to keep the badly told jokes and mindless prattle to a minimum, 90% of the time it only proves that your mouth runs better than most faucets.

But I actually enjoy Cruise Nights. It gives me something to rant about.

My next rant will be on dental hygiene or the care and feeding of your tooth.