So like any normal person I answer it, only to hear gurgling sounds from the other end. As I say hello, a stream of water shoots out of the phone as if I were in a Three Stooges episode.
As you know the weather is a tad bit damp, causing many of you to forgo the Car Shows planned for the weekend. So as you watch reruns of "Worlds Dumbest White Trash Stunts with Power Tools" or perhaps the "All American Fat Bastard BBQ" competition you may want to think about polishing your boating skills. Maybe buy some crab and reenact your favorite episode of Deadliest Catch or better still, yank out most of your teeth and play Swamp People.
Next weekend we can take the U.S. Coast Guard Boater Safety Course, or start to actually think that Noah has been reincarnated as is laughing at all us heathens. The sump pump keeps me grounded enough for me to realize that there is more to the breast stroke than foreplay.
An article in today's paper was an article on Pirates and some upcoming events in Maine that will include them. You could play Shipwreck in my back yard. The Spanish Armada could float its ships up my street. Oh look a duck.
Just don't answer the phone.
6/3/12
6/2/12
Meanwhile Back at the Swamp
For those that actually give a shit the Bridgton show has been raindated to the 10th of June, same swampy area, same format. The benefit show in Hallowell is still on as far as I know,but Scuba Gear and Pontoons may be more in fashion than wax and polish.
For those that actually do give a shit June 10th is same date as the Cumberland Show. So it just goes to Show us one thing. Gun shot wounds to the feet are more prevalent in Bridgton in June than at any other place or time in the state.
On another note, has anybody heard a murmur from the crew that put on the Belgrade Show. Although much maligned on its judging and especially the length of time we spent there it was still a Show. I haven't heard from or even seen the organizer, but then again there really hasn't been that many events this year.
For those that actually do give a shit June 10th is same date as the Cumberland Show. So it just goes to Show us one thing. Gun shot wounds to the feet are more prevalent in Bridgton in June than at any other place or time in the state.
On another note, has anybody heard a murmur from the crew that put on the Belgrade Show. Although much maligned on its judging and especially the length of time we spent there it was still a Show. I haven't heard from or even seen the organizer, but then again there really hasn't been that many events this year.
5/27/12
Mixed Up
This weekend I'm 1&1
HSA raised 1600 dinars for their Charity on Saturday with some donations from alot of private parties and some Car Clubs. I only stayed about 20 minutes or so but everybody seemed happy and was having a good time. The charity is for a 27 yr old female who has Cystic Fibrosis and needs a double lung transplant so she can see her 2yr old boy grow up.
Low car Count didn't hinder anything in anyway as the mission, which is ongoing, accomplished what it needed and may happen again at another time and place.
So far so good right? Not so Much
I have Questions. I really don't want or need answers.
What does it mean when you are approaching a Show at 8:15AM and Cars containing worshipers of the Almighty $25.00 Cheap Ass Trophy are trying to flag you down as they speed by headed away from the show? Is it an Outbreak of the Black Plague? Perhaps an Alien Invasion? Better yet it must be the predicted Zombie Apocalypse.
What does it mean as you wait in line to enter, that vehicles are moving forward, only to turn around and leave? Bad breath? Someone forgot the deodorant? Walmart People?
As I was driving on 26 4 cars went in the opposite direction. Not good. As I was in Line, 7 cars going out rather than in. Two stopped to tell me, "don't bother, its $10.00 a head". I stayed in line figuring it was a $10.00 day unless they told me to drop my pants and I ain't paying $20.00. The 8th car stopped and told me $10.00 per car plus $5.00 to register.
Warning there is now a Meth Lab at the gate and whoever is running it is being overcome by fumes. As I laughed, much like I did at Bonney Eagle, only with a little more gusto and a hint of the maniacal, I left. As I left an entire Car Club that had been there for a little longer than me, followed me to the gate and they to laughed. Coulda woulda shoulda.
Beautiful day, Great weather and temp. Cup of Coffee, tunes, comedy, cruising in the 48. Out at 7:45am in at 8:45am. Mowing grass at 9:45, kicked back and relaxing at home the rest of the day.
Car Show, what Car Show, it was awesome right here.
HSA raised 1600 dinars for their Charity on Saturday with some donations from alot of private parties and some Car Clubs. I only stayed about 20 minutes or so but everybody seemed happy and was having a good time. The charity is for a 27 yr old female who has Cystic Fibrosis and needs a double lung transplant so she can see her 2yr old boy grow up.
Low car Count didn't hinder anything in anyway as the mission, which is ongoing, accomplished what it needed and may happen again at another time and place.
So far so good right? Not so Much
I have Questions. I really don't want or need answers.
What does it mean when you are approaching a Show at 8:15AM and Cars containing worshipers of the Almighty $25.00 Cheap Ass Trophy are trying to flag you down as they speed by headed away from the show? Is it an Outbreak of the Black Plague? Perhaps an Alien Invasion? Better yet it must be the predicted Zombie Apocalypse.
What does it mean as you wait in line to enter, that vehicles are moving forward, only to turn around and leave? Bad breath? Someone forgot the deodorant? Walmart People?
As I was driving on 26 4 cars went in the opposite direction. Not good. As I was in Line, 7 cars going out rather than in. Two stopped to tell me, "don't bother, its $10.00 a head". I stayed in line figuring it was a $10.00 day unless they told me to drop my pants and I ain't paying $20.00. The 8th car stopped and told me $10.00 per car plus $5.00 to register.
Warning there is now a Meth Lab at the gate and whoever is running it is being overcome by fumes. As I laughed, much like I did at Bonney Eagle, only with a little more gusto and a hint of the maniacal, I left. As I left an entire Car Club that had been there for a little longer than me, followed me to the gate and they to laughed. Coulda woulda shoulda.
Beautiful day, Great weather and temp. Cup of Coffee, tunes, comedy, cruising in the 48. Out at 7:45am in at 8:45am. Mowing grass at 9:45, kicked back and relaxing at home the rest of the day.
Car Show, what Car Show, it was awesome right here.
5/23/12
Twofer
So this weekend we have a multiple choose type of schedule. You know you get to choose a Saturday Show or a Sunday Show or if your brave and really hungry for bad burgers, over dogged dogs and of course the almighty $25.00 Cheap Ass Trophy, you can do both days.
On Saturday we get a fundraiser for a worthy cause. That cause would be a 20something female that needs a pair of lungs. High Status Auto is raising money for Aimee Driscoll who has Cystic Fibrosis and needs a double lung transplant to be able to become a 30something. The Show is a little thrown together at a small venue in Lewiston on Sabatuss St. called L/A Auto which is just past Hannaford's on the right. We won't be able to attend the entire show but will show up to make a donation.
Sunday is the Auto & Bike Fest at OPS Dustbowl. I didn't attend last year and whether I do this year is still out for a vote. The reviews I did hear from last year were not the best, but where it was their first hopefully it will get better. Partially sponsored by Cruise Maine Magazine it would be great if they pulled off a good day.
Remember, have fun no matter what.
On Monday Thank a Veteran, They make reading this possible and allow me to keep you entertained.
On Saturday we get a fundraiser for a worthy cause. That cause would be a 20something female that needs a pair of lungs. High Status Auto is raising money for Aimee Driscoll who has Cystic Fibrosis and needs a double lung transplant to be able to become a 30something. The Show is a little thrown together at a small venue in Lewiston on Sabatuss St. called L/A Auto which is just past Hannaford's on the right. We won't be able to attend the entire show but will show up to make a donation.
Sunday is the Auto & Bike Fest at OPS Dustbowl. I didn't attend last year and whether I do this year is still out for a vote. The reviews I did hear from last year were not the best, but where it was their first hopefully it will get better. Partially sponsored by Cruise Maine Magazine it would be great if they pulled off a good day.
Remember, have fun no matter what.
On Monday Thank a Veteran, They make reading this possible and allow me to keep you entertained.
5/20/12
What's Up Doc?
I was asked what the blog would be about today by several people and I know this for sure, it won't be about raising rabbits. Sorry we talk cars here.
Bonney Eagle Car Show has set a new record for packing the most laughs in a single area.
I started laughing at the gate when they told me to go all the way to the front entrance to enter the grounds. What the fuck were they thinking, the Street Rod Entrance was 50 yards up the street. Then came the merging of two lanes into one lane with some future politician or possibly a present politician wanting to explain the proper use of a condom when having sex with the wild African Blueberry. I'm not sure if that was the topic of the conversation but I did hear him called "dickhead", so I'll assume it was about sex.
Yep we didn't take that part of the tour and moving on. Parking was by divine intervention, after all it was Sunday and the Reverend Cat Crate was in attendance. Now I'm not against desegregation as it pertains to the equality of man but a little segregation in the classes would go a long way. The VW crowd had it right but even they looked like a display of Aryan superiority.
This show has not disappointed anyone for the last 10 or so years. It's the culmination of not giving a shit about anything but the money, the mentality that mediocre is good enough and resting on past deeds and achievement.
Yet the question remains as to why we go back year after year. Are we expecting it to get better. Check please, reality check please. Or are we just out to forage for something that no longer exists. I think we are all glutons for punishment in our own little sado-masochistic minds. You know, whip me, beat me, send me to Bonney Eagle and may I have another.
Yes we had good time and accomplished all we intended. But...
Pissing your pants with laughter. $5.00 (entry fee)
Eating bad burgers and nasty ass fries. $11.00 ( wtf )
Writing this blog Priceless
Bonney Eagle Car Show has set a new record for packing the most laughs in a single area.
I started laughing at the gate when they told me to go all the way to the front entrance to enter the grounds. What the fuck were they thinking, the Street Rod Entrance was 50 yards up the street. Then came the merging of two lanes into one lane with some future politician or possibly a present politician wanting to explain the proper use of a condom when having sex with the wild African Blueberry. I'm not sure if that was the topic of the conversation but I did hear him called "dickhead", so I'll assume it was about sex.
Yep we didn't take that part of the tour and moving on. Parking was by divine intervention, after all it was Sunday and the Reverend Cat Crate was in attendance. Now I'm not against desegregation as it pertains to the equality of man but a little segregation in the classes would go a long way. The VW crowd had it right but even they looked like a display of Aryan superiority.
This show has not disappointed anyone for the last 10 or so years. It's the culmination of not giving a shit about anything but the money, the mentality that mediocre is good enough and resting on past deeds and achievement.
Yet the question remains as to why we go back year after year. Are we expecting it to get better. Check please, reality check please. Or are we just out to forage for something that no longer exists. I think we are all glutons for punishment in our own little sado-masochistic minds. You know, whip me, beat me, send me to Bonney Eagle and may I have another.
Yes we had good time and accomplished all we intended. But...
Pissing your pants with laughter. $5.00 (entry fee)
Eating bad burgers and nasty ass fries. $11.00 ( wtf )
Writing this blog Priceless
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