And the Phone Rings

So like any normal person I answer it, only to hear gurgling sounds from the other end. As I say hello, a stream of water shoots out of the phone as if I were in a Three Stooges episode.

As you know the weather is a tad bit damp, causing many of you to forgo the Car Shows planned for the weekend. So as you watch reruns of "Worlds Dumbest White Trash Stunts with Power Tools" or perhaps the "All American Fat Bastard BBQ" competition you may want to think about polishing your boating skills. Maybe buy some crab and reenact your favorite episode of Deadliest Catch or better still, yank out most of your teeth and play Swamp People.

Next weekend we can take the U.S. Coast Guard Boater Safety Course, or start to actually think that Noah has been reincarnated as is laughing at all us heathens. The sump pump keeps me grounded enough for me to realize that there is more to the breast stroke than foreplay.

An article in today's paper was an article on Pirates and some upcoming events in Maine that will include them. You could play Shipwreck in my back yard. The Spanish Armada could float its ships up my street. Oh look a duck.

Just don't answer the phone.