Turkeyday

Here is how you could describe a Thanksgiving Feast if you really squint and listen to Guy Lombardo played backwards.

Your Table is set with the finest of silver that gleams like a new set of wrenches. The china could be compared in size to a hub cap and the crystal glassware in combination with the china would put any $25.00 Cheap Ass Trophy to shame.

The cream cheese stuffed celery  reminds you of tire plugs and the mashed potatoes of a fine polish used on your chrome. The Cranberry jelly says red grease and the olives say valve caps. The table cloth begs to be used as a cover for your seats and the stuffing, although aromatic, reminds you to mouse proof the car.

Your gravy boat with its thick rich contents smells of turkey but screams gear oil. Then as the bird is carved, the soft tender meat makes you yearn for the soft compound tires you saw and drumstick of the new shifter from Lokar or Hurst

After your meal you sit as satisfied as a first time winner at the Auto-Rama and slowly nod off into your dreams of bikini car washes and a never ending supply of Mothers Wax.

As you awaken for dessert the Apple pie ala mode reminds you of nothing because what is more American than Apple Pie, Ice Cream, Hot Rods and Bikini Car Washes.

Oh Screw that! I'm gonna make me a damn PBJ sammich and head for the garage.

Happy Thanksgiving.

May we all be safe and well during this Holiday Season.