Tis the Season

I saw it the eyes of many of the participants. It was the beginning of the winter season and many found themselves unprepared for the onslaught of what was to come.

A customer started getting edgy upon entrance to the shop this past week. They began salivating upon the sight of it and nearly went into convulsions as they neared it. I literally had to cover it up so they would pay attention to their surroundings, as it became apparent that they were close to stepping into a large pile of nastiness that I had just swept up.

I saw it at Lowe's and Home Depot just yesterday as I bought supplies for the next week. They were drawn in that general direction like moths to the flame. In one aisle I found a friend wandering aimlessly as he fondled a bottle of wax.

Tis the season for Trophy Withdrawal and all it sub categories of addiction in Wax or Polishing Cloths. The Plumbing Suppliers are wondering why they find spittle and teeth marks on the PVC Pipe. In Landscaping one person was found rubbing Marble chips on his cheek mumbling "Thanks for the votes".

At PEP Boys and VIP they can't seem to keep the faux Chrome or Gold paint on the shelves and have put a "One Per Customer" sign in the wax and polish aisle.

Reports of deviant behavior at certain Christmas Ornament shops have been increasing steadily since the Halloween Festivities are over and the thefts of certain hood ornaments has also increased exponentially since the New Gloucester Lions Show ended.

The one trophy that I obtained this year now has a pressure sensitive alarm and a barbed wire fence around it so that the Cheap Ass Trophy Addicts will stay away from it.

It's Going To Be A Long Winter.