21st Century

This is totally off subject but needs to written because... well it just needs to be written.

I don't own or possess a cell phone, the wife does, but I don't. I don't need all the communication technology that everybody thinks they require. I see no need to be plugged in 24/7/365. I have a computer and know how to make it work. I have a land line that rings quite nicely with call waiting and caller ID.. If you want there is always E-Mail.

I didn't have a social network, didn't need a social network. If they had an Anti-social network I would probably belong to that.

I don't do Twitter, the only Tweets I have are at the bird feeder. Up until yesterday I didn't do Facebook or at least I thought I didn't do Facebook. Seems I had a Facebook account and didn't know it. Now I do.

So as I'm checking into this Account that I didn't know or realize I had. I'm getting these friend requests like I'm the concierge at the Ritz Carlton. Excuse Me, do I know you, I don't think so. Of the 3 to 4 hundred requests that I received I knew 2 people.

Then after sorting through that bucket of shit, they suggested that I should become friends with a whole gaggle of people of which I knew one and I wouldn't trust him alone with my dog, let alone allow him to be a friend on Facebook.

Now I've sorted, hunted and requested friends, family and anything else that would constitute a social network. I've set up my profile with minimal info, because like everything in my life, it ain't none of your f-----g business.

That was last night after I visited with some friends that claimed that Facebook was good stuff. They F-----g lied.

Today I have twice the amount of requests for friends, I know exactly how to lance a boil. I know that Lowe's is having a sale on Washers and Dryers. I found so and so was getting divorced, and threw out her husband. This Is Not Social Networking People, this is backyard Gossip best told over coffee at the back fence.

I would rather listen to the Play by Play of a golf match in Portuguese or possibly even subscribe to the National Enquirer than have somebody else's f-----g horoscope greet me every time I log on to the site.

If you find me on Facebook, Go away. If you need to find me, I'm in an antiquated thing called a f-----g Phone Book.

I will be Starting a new site for those that have had the same experience that I have. It will called, "Faceplant.com" and will include direct links to every Psychiatric hospital that is looking for the socially challenged. It will also provide your e-mail and personal information to every moron and imbecile that doesn't speak English and wants pictures of your dog humping your neighbors leg.

It will come in two versions Standard and Deluxe. In the Deluxe Version you will be provided with a bowl of Yak dung to plant your face in, the standard version will have no bowl.

I have seen the gates of Hell, and they led to Facebook.

PS Account Deactivated 11/9/09, 3:22PM EST