Voices

As my feet hit the pavement in the parking lot, the Voices began laughing. All but one was laughing and that one said, "Your Going To Be Sorry". I didn't listen to any of them.

I went to Wally World anyway.

I have a problem with going to Wally World or for that matter any store that sells Oatmeal and black lace panties within arms reach of each other. In some third world countries that would be considered foreplay. That's a vision I didn't need. But then again.

Shop supplies were in need and Wally World has them cheap. All I really needed was Shop Towels, you know the the blue paper towels that are a little sturdier than the normal paper towel. They were on sale for a $1.00 a roll. So I grabbed a bunch, 6 to be exact. and toured the rest of the Automotive Dept. to see if there was anything else I could use. I did find a neat little product called Oil Zap, which is basically a diaper to put on the floor to catch oil drips. I figured these could be useful and at 25cents each I grabbed a bunch of those also.

After my last foray at Wally World I cruised the Registers to make sure the Cashier I got could at least tie her own shoes with out a manual and got in line. Now understand I have 2 items consisting of 14 pieces (8 Oil Zaps and 6 paper towels) and that's all.

As I approached my turn in line I dropped a roll of towels and as I bent down to pick it up, what I saw were Velcro sneakers. At this point in time the Voices were laughing loud enough to be a laugh track for a 60's sitcom. I was Screwed.

The cashiers at other stores know how to punch keys and scan 1 item. Not on this day, not from this person. She did 6 rolls scanned 1 at a time, no problem. Then 3 or 4 of the diapers and God Laughed loudly. PRICE CHECK because evidently not only doesn't She know how to tie her shoes but she didn't have reading glasses to be able to read the SKU number to enter into the register because it wouldn't scan.

The Voices Sang in perfect harmony,"Please release me, let me go". They told me that I started giggling maniacally and salivating like a dog waiting for his raw meat. I'm glad they told me this as I don't remember anything.

I now have a tingling in my right hand and blurred vision in my left eye and I mumble vulgarities when I see oatmeal or black lace panties. At least I don't need bail.