So Far Out There, You Can't See It

Let’s take a walk away from cars for this posting. I know, but it seems that a little rant about things that don’t involve Votes, winning a Cheap Ass Trophy or Class Jumping would break the monotony.

The subject matter today is junk mail. Not the stuff you get from the USPS but the crap you get in e-mails. I run 3 different e-mail addresses and the amount of crap is mind numbing. I was running a fourth account but it became such a toilet for shit (literally) that I flushed it.

If the city ever got wind of how much SPAM I got they would make me open a food bank. The accounts get upwards of 100 pieces a day, each. Luckily with the filters set correctly I only get a few here and there.

But I still get to clean out the filters or the e-mail doesn’t run correctly and the computer slows down. The subject matter is astounding and goes from banking to health to sex and jobs.

Nigerian Princes asking for my account numbers to dump billions into, with my reward being 10% of the gross. Did you see my new Bentley? Yeah Right. My American Express account has been used in Europe, send us your account info so we can issue you a new card. Never had one so how's that working for you.

The one about the colon flush and loose weight really got to me. I’ve done the colonoscopy bit and that was a real joy, so why would I want to do that on purpose. If I wanted a flush, 2 cups of coffee and a banana usually work just fine. My ass is not the exit for the Holland Tunnel. What the hell is an Acai Berry anyway?

Be a Google Millionaire. Huh? I use google all the time and they have yet to send me a check. Earn thousands a day using our easy e-Bay selling plan and what the hell is so hard about snapping a digital photo of the stuff you’re selling and posting it to e-Bay. Earn $500 a day working from home. I already work at home and make what I want on any given day. I’m not seeing this as part of the Economic Recovery, do you?

Then you can get your medication dirt cheap at some online pharmacy in Outer Mongolia. If you have taken some other Medication that nobody with half a brain cell has ever heard of, it may lead to some mystery disease that even Joe Bornstein is staying the hell away from.

Now if I took all the penile enhancement and enlargement pills they keep harping on, about 8 times a day I’d have a large following of porn film producers or a twin Brother in my pants. If I have that big a problem with the size of my manhood I’d get a job as a eunuch for the King of Saudi Arabia’s harem.

Some times they come in German and I'm beginning to think that its excerpts from some Military Parade Manual. Of course you always get the 15 to 20 from yourself as some Spammer gleefully chuckles that his program can do that.

Maybe tomorrow I'll talk about car Shows